What’s my TOP TIP for professionals helping clients regulate emotion?
When you ask,
“Does the emotion fit the facts?”
Hope they say, “Yes”.
That’s an indication they are developing emotional literacy, learning to value this emotional experience, even if it is painful.
If, instead, you are hoping they are going to say, “No,” that will stop you teaching them how to use the emotion appropriately.
So, resist the urge to quickly get them to ‘act opposite’ or ‘cognitively restructure’ or ‘radically accept’ or ‘put their face in cold water.’ All of these risk giving the message that emotion is the enemy.
Say, “Let’s work on how much of this emotion we want to keep, the part that tells us there’s a problem to solve, and work out what to do about it.”
Only after you have done that, is it ok to teach them how to down-regulate the excess emotion.
It’s a tough climb… And you have the skill to do it